October 31, 2010

the spider

I saw a spider and I was so scared it would bite me, so I ran. But then I went back because I knew it was there, so still, in my bedroom wall and it would be there or even worse hiding somewhere by the time I went to bed. I threw a couple of shoes at it with no luck so I took a deep breath and crushed it. I killed a spider, it will no longer run around or hide or find new places. I killed a spider and I felt bad. I had to say  "I'm sorry" outloud to feel a little better.  To think there are so many persons who do horrible stuff, don't they feel their hearts clenching? Don't they get any remorse?

rest assured

I know the look in my eyes and my voice breaking doesn't help in convincing you I'm alright. But rest assured, you didn't break me. I trully am fine... most of the time.

October 29, 2010


"But the crowds run along not noticing him or his heartache...Vast, boundless heartache. If Iona's breast burst and the heartache poured out, it seems it would flood the entire world- but nevertheless people do not see it."
- Anton Chekhov

October 28, 2010

pretend i love you

We’ve always been make believe.
I lie to you and you lie to me.
We break up and make up, just to be.
Can’t carry on with an imaginary love.

I pretend I love you and you pretend to care.
I pretend I miss you and you pretend to get hurt.
Now let’s recognize this is the end,
and we’ll both be on our ways.

October 27, 2010

keep it simple

Keep it simple, I told myself. Something else would be trouble. So, simple it was. Who am I kidding?

In the end, simple always gets complicated.

it's about choices

It's about choices. We choose schools, what to do, what to eat or what road to take. We choose to love or hate. We choose to fight or stray. Everyday, every hour, every minute we define our lives. Is it the right choice? Who knows? We'll just have to wait and see.

October 26, 2010

let it go. let it be.

Let go.
Let it go.
Let the pain go.
Let the pain flow.
Let the pain fade off.
Let the pain fade off of you.

Let the sun give you warmth.
Let the sun calm you down.
Let the sun rise and shine.
Let the sun be bright.
Let it be.
Let it.

emergency contact

You don't want me all the time. Just when you need me. Just when your heart gets crushed and there's no ambulance around. You dial my number in hopes of a last minute intervention to get your heart going. Oh, but not this time sir, you won't hear a loving voice, you won't hear those words that always made you feel better. This time I refuse to be your emergency contact number, I am more than just a nurse for your broken heart.

dangerous craving

CRAVING, an intense, urgent, abnormal desire or longing of something. Horrible feeling, especially when you just cant get what you need to satisfy the need. Worst part is it's not always an object or food you can get at the corner store, sometimes it's a feeling. And feelings are hard to find and get, even when you're the first one placing the order. Love is indeed the most dangerous craving of all, if you ask me. It will make you scream, kick, cry and settle for something that looks like it.

October 24, 2010

recycled feelings

Nothing but a bunch of recycled feelings. That's all I have. Isn't that what we all have in the end? Used materials, better known as waste converted into new products to reduce the "potential" waste of useful materials. So in this case I believe my love for you is the used one, better yet the waste, because that's how it ended and I am the wonderful recycling machine trying to convert this feeling for you into a brand new clean love to share with someone else. I wonder if the next one will ever find out the love he now has is recycled and not brand new. Will this change his idea of me? Or maybe he's all into the "be green, recycle your feelings" trend.

Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. Reduce your feelings, use just the proper amount, don't let it go to waste. Reuse whenever possible, go back with you ex and use your love once again at least for a while. Recycle when love is wasted and in the trash, pick it up, recycle and get it shiny and ready to use with someone new.

October 22, 2010

the call

I wanted to call you. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but I wanted to clear the air around us. Even when the air around us, is really thousands of miles apart. Why leave it all messy? So I decided I would, no clue on what I'd say but a: hello, it's me. I feared she'd be there, because what would you say? Wrong number or an old friend maybe... I grabbed the phone, my heart started racing, trying to focus on the fact that this is what I wanted. I dialed. Heard the tone, my heart beating even faster just to hear: the call can't be completed that way. Click, finally able to take a deep breath again.

October 20, 2010

do you miss me now?

Do you miss me now that I'm not around?
Do you miss me now when it's cold and you're tired?
Do you miss me now that I don't scream and shout?
Do you miss me now that you bore her out of her mind?
Well, I don't miss the sleepless nights.
And I don't miss the tears and lies.
I don't miss waiting around.
Or miss leaving my selfesteem on the side.
So, this means we won't reconcile.

October 19, 2010

artic love. frozen heart

Artic love. Numbing love. Ice all around.
You made me cold with your lies.
Frozen heart, won't melt this time.
Even if the sun is shining bright.
Frozen heart , won't melt this time.
Even if you stay and cry.

letter to myself

Dear Self,
I know you're always believed in fate and destiny, and that you met a guy that seemed to be sent by the stars. I know all about your long conversations where you poured your heart out about all and nothing and I know that they never seemed to end. It's amazing how much you guys have in common and how he can guess what you're going to say before you even open your mouth. It all looks like magic. But you've been down this road before, the perfect person never turns out to be as perfect, and well no one ever is. Meant to be is too big a responsability. Liking the same bizarre things doesn't make you soul mates. What I'm trying to say is think twice and look out. You've been hurt and let down, and I hate to see you fall. I hate to fall...

change of heart. change of blog.

I recently, well about a year ago, started writing whatever was on my mind. I ended up with some short stories and eventually focused on poems. It's a good therapy, trasfering your thoughts into a scrap of paper, so I keep doing it on a regular basis. I've posted on Booksie, but I don't really like the organization it has, so what started as my "quote" blog and ended being a abandoned blog will now be my "Blog your heart out", where I'll post past writing and future writing. My last week was a total wreck, so trying to get back on track I'm focusing on several activities, writing and posting will be one of them.
To whoever reads this, thanks and hope you enjoy or at least get entretained. Comments are very much appreciated. Go on and comment your heart out.