May 20, 2018

the colorful calmness

It was the simplest thing, air balloons in a wide open space. Hundreds of colors in the sky and I just sat there on that empty soda box and looked up. Blue, red, yellow, green, white, purple, pink and all the combinations possible. You hear as they fuel it up, the flame makes such a distinct sound, the calmness begins. 

May 17, 2018

2018

Almost half of the year gone by and I didn't dare post my wishes for 2018, I thought about them carefully and I just couldn't commit to carry such a heavy list with me knowing I'd get caught up in something and forget it all. 

I realize that thinking that just a change in the calendar year will change our lives is silly,  but it's also hopeful. So here I am, with almost half of the year gone by re-thinking what 2018 means to me. 

May 15, 2018

another sleepless night

Middle of the night,
a sleepless one,
went outside,
sat on the ground,
it was so dark,
could barely make up a few stars.

Then that cloud went away,
the moon was shining,
like the chesire cat smile,
it grounded me,
I felt the roots grow from under me,
and I was starting be alright.

I was going to be alright. 

October 29, 2017

one more year

Close to completing another round around the sun, it felt like a mere instant, not 365 days for sure. I double checked the calendar, I brushed away the "your birthday is coming up soon" comments, I didn't buy myself that present my mom asked me to buy. And still the date is right around the corner. 

August 23, 2017

the times we miss

I had to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and tell myself that I could do it, that I had what was needed and that I could conquer it all. You never think you'll have to take such measures, but damn, anxiety and self-doubt will increase by a ton those last months. It doesn't help being alone, but alone is all you want to be. Conflicting times, yet they will be truly missed.

April 5, 2017

the good wishes

He said this would be my year and that I should enjoy it. Such simple words yet they filled my heart with joy and comfort. Isn't it lovely when someone, anyone, predicts good things for you? Even if they can't control it, the simple thought makes it all better. 

February 23, 2017

where do I go when I go

Drove all the way back home in silence, didn't even care to turn the radio on. It was such a trance I didn't notice until I was two minutes away. Didn't think of anything at all, I just wasn't there. Still trying to figure out where I go when I go. 

January 17, 2017

the go getter

I never thought I could, but I did and it made me feel powerful and strong. Like if I could do this, I could do anything at all.