Drove all the way back home in silence, didn't even care to turn the radio on. It was such a trance I didn't notice until I was two minutes away. Didn't think of anything at all, I just wasn't there. Still trying to figure out where I go when I go.
It would've been nice to have been told that fear is greater in the anticipatory moments and once you're doing whatever you feared, it all fades away. Sometimes you even go through it and forget what it was that terrified you so much.
My words always sounded harsher than I meant them out to be. I hurt people unwillingly and I don't realize it until the words have left me. I could see the look in their eyes. If I could be softer I would be, believe me. I'm sorry.