July 30, 2013

our neutral conversations

Every now and then he felt the need to say hello to me, I always said hello back, deep down I still want to know what he's all about. It feels so unnatural, talking like we're stangers, like we don't have a past, no memories buried on our minds. Conversation is always short and well planned out, wouldn't want to ask the wrong thing. No, I won't ask about your new girlfriend, don't worry about it, we'll stay neutral, just for this moment.

the sheriff

Cheers to those who fall in love with no fear,
those who give it all,
surrender their guns,
and let themselves be targets.

I admire you,
I'm not so brave,
not brave at all,
I stick to my guns
and aim whoever starts walking the path to my heart,
it's sad and inevitable.

I'm the toughest sheriff in town.
Bang, bang my love,
sorry I had to put you down,
before you let me down.

July 24, 2013

the never ending

Days appear to be longer, I guess that's what happens when you keep to yourself. 

Mother said I look distant, there's nothing to explain.

July 18, 2013

the fighter

Turns out I don't have to fight. I'm quite alright, they say nothing to worry about. Good, I think. I didn't really know how to play a brave fighter.

And it sadly hits me that something in me wanted there to be something I could blame it all on, but it's nothing, no rescue device. I feel truly sorry for thinking this way.

it was me

It wasn't his fault,
never blamed him,
it was my brain and my heart
got involved too fast, 
believed it would be different this time.

You can call me dramatic but this meant something to me.

July 16, 2013

the wrong fit

You can love people who are wrong for you, if you're aware they're the wrong fit and go with it you're just lying to yourself, you know perfectly how it will end.

July 15, 2013

the anchor

Avoided this moment for so long,
I feel it leveling down, 
sinking slowly,
finding it's new permanent home.

Avoided this moment for so long,

now I can't run,
the anchor is settling,
the sand hugging it in place.

Now every decision seems heavy,
a house, a car, a person, 
triple anchor and I stand still,
let it sink in.

I've already sunken. 

July 12, 2013

my safety net

I'm tense and scared of everything, especially feelings. Maybe that's why I prefer people far far away, because distance is protection, distance is my safety net. 

not dead

I'm not dead inside,
I'm alive and well,
there are sparks within me,
so bright I quiet them down,
because they're mine
and I choose who to share them with.

You said people like me are dead inside,
but people like me are waiting,
and waiting, kind sir, is fine.