December 31, 2015


This time I didn't write about my year way in advance like I did the one before,
2014 was so clearly great it was easy to set it in paper before it was done,
now I'm counting the days and hoping the last hours count,
it wasn't bad but the adventures tamed down,
I grew more serious and focused, 
got a side job which I love,
I'm healthy and at peace,
I'm in love.
I've got it all,
but it's not ever enough,
remember I laughed more than cried,
stood my ground and justice was made,
discovered new passions and tried it all out,
spent amazing days cooking the night away,
renewed myself by giving my hair to a great cause,
went to the happiest place on earth with longtime friends,
realized how fragile we all are and how to really trust once more,
organized, planned and failed but stood right back up ready for more.

2015 had it's peaks and it's lows but I wouldn't change it, for I am who I am due to the shake-up. 

the old and the new

It's coming to an end,
and everyone is making plans,
celebrating the year just past,
or perhaps celebrating the new start,
because in the end that's all we want,
new oportunities and to leave the slate blank,
to forgive ourselves for our mistakes,
to move on and forget,
to be ready for whatever life has in stock. 

the screwing you over

The bad ones will screw you over but good ones will do that too, and it hurts worse because you don't even see it coming.

the fortune cookie

The fortune cookie seemed to be right, things were falling into place and suddenly it felt like anything was possible, but it didn't last long. After a while, it crumbled and it was lost, and I didn't feel surprised and it didn't make me as sad as I thought it would, if it had happened a few years back it would've destroyed me, but not now.

oh these legs

Got them from my mother's family,
big and bulky,
always aware of this,
no mini dresses or shorts, 
those garments don't suit them.

Oh but they've taken me places,
from upper to lower Manhattan,
walked until I found my way back in Florence,
hiking on that trail until the bugs won,
wherever I set my mind, they don't give in.

Got them from my mother's family,
big, bulky and strong,
even when I'm not on the run.

the numbness

Perhaps it should've moved me,
it should've orchestrated the most beautiful symphony
but it didn't,
I didn't even flinch.

December 29, 2015

perfect matches

Always living parallel lives, in far away places, stuck in otherness that never seems to change, dreaming of the day you get to be together. Sometimes perfect matches, have the most imperfect timing, the stories are hardly or slowly completed.


December, I know now why she didn't want you,
you were always sweet to me but not to many others,
perhaps the make belive part was hard for them,
and suddenly all the bright lights are dim,
and all the "joy to the world" seems fake,
how do we keep it up when we live as we live,
when we see all that we see.

December, this time you crashed into us all,
no one was prepared,
and although you have your peaks, 
you have the lowest lows,
and I don't know if a happy new year will make it up.

the man who only loves himself

A few days before she was done, thought she'd seen the light. But then all he had to do was snap his fingers and she was back. She felt like it was love, no one agreed. And you think you have no right to have an opinion, you're not in it, you don't know, but you actually do, you see it much clearer than she does, more than she'll ever do. Then he leaves again, and she's always waiting, wanting to be loved by the man who only loves himself. 

December 28, 2015

the path you choose everday

It made it sound so unimportant and perhaps it was, but it was a choice, one I continue guessing if it was the right one, and they laugh it off and made it sound little, uneventful and interchangable but that was my life, it was going to continue to be my life, so instead of crumbling and falling to tears I decided to continue on the path for myself and not to make anyone else feel proud.

December 4, 2015

the sky and everything in it

You are my sky, 
full of constellations to discover,
particularly the shining star that guides me home.

never left

People that matter have a way of coming back to your life, regardless of time and distance. Those that marked their way never really leave. You never left all those years ago, I think I carried you in my heart all along.

the irrational fear and love

Sometimes I got irrationally scared, but it didn't take long to come back to my senses. And you, you understood my fears never meant I didn't love you enough.

November 19, 2015

there's a list now

So completely relative, but in your eyes it was completely wrong, boring and depressive, it wasn't like that for me or for them, what's why we chose to do it. Let's add it up to the list of things that set us apart.

October 17, 2015

the leaving behind

I dived into your world and when I looked around it seemed impossible to leave behind. 

with good reason

There's a light that never goes out,
some things happen for a reason,
others never happen,
with good reason too,
and these are not all cliches,
they happen to the best of us,
in the most surprising ways.

October 3, 2015

face the charges

Here I am again, pointing fingers, trying to place the blame somewhere far away but there's no use, this time I'll face all the charges. 

human again

Woke up human again,
sadly I had disconnected,
but her words brought me back,
to fight the good fight,
to realize how lucky I am.

September 21, 2015

the dancing heart

I used to be bolder, now just the idea of possibility sends my heart jumping to the moon. Is this responsability or just plain fear? I guess the important part is to push through regardless of the dancing heart.

September 9, 2015

i've done that

I know where I get it from,
that trait of personality I despise,
she told me about an injustice
and how she chose to stay quiet,
for the sake of the person inflicting the pain,
and it made me rabid, poisoned my soul with anger
and then it settled in, I've done that hundreds of times.
Looking out for strangers rather than your own,
sickening when seen on others, admisible in me.

September 8, 2015

if we knew

If we knew how to make it stop, we would have already. Don't have any answers, but it troubles me, the responsability weighs me down and I don't know how to face it.

the repeating of history

So we repeat history, not because of them but because of ourselves. Isn't it tragic?

September 4, 2015

the doom of the learning curve

Perhaps we are doomed to repeat history, our own personal one, time after time, person after person. Do we not learn at all? Or is it just in the stars?

August 24, 2015

if you need space

And baby if you need space, I'll give it to you. 
I'll climb on the next rocket to outer space and let you think it through.

July 16, 2015

on decisions

A: Was it the right decision?

B: I don't know, we never get to know the outcome of another, but it was my decision and that alone brought peace.

June 19, 2015

the best fall

After much consideration decided to let myself fall, placed one foot after the other until I couldn't feel the edge anymore, with my hands pressing my chest, trying to keep the fear in, I jumped. To my surprise and everyone else's I landed on my own two feet, on a bed of flowers, wasn't hurt at all.

she's at it again

She went there again, hopeful and free, instant perfection tends to wither down in time, and it's not awful, it's just real. 

June 1, 2015

good friendships

At some point I convinced myself that it's impossible to make good friendships when you get older, it's a cutthroat world and everyone is pushing their way, life corrected me and I'm infinitely grateful.

April 28, 2015

the world was right again

He kissed me, and with his lips on mine, the world was right again.

April 7, 2015

this love

It's the kind of feeling you can't ignore, so as dificult as it is, we keep going.

not a miracle

He needed a miracle and a miracle he got but not in a right way, it was clear to me and to everyone around. Miracles aren't miracles when you have strings to pull.

February 27, 2015

face the world

How did this not happen before? I guess we had to experience the world on our own, so when we met again with our lessons learned, we'd be ready face the world together.

February 26, 2015


Loving him was simple, everything else around us was complicated.

the canvas

From the moment I was born I was taught to paint whatever seemed fit for myself, it was permanent and sometimes colors overlapped through the years, never regretted anything it was just a build-up for the final result. You were always a clear canvas, available, asking others to paint for you, to make-up your story and when they left you just went blank again. 

February 18, 2015

wherever you are

Wherever you are, that's where my heart longs to be. 

February 16, 2015

funny valentine

Isn't it funny? We base the health of our relationships in a single day, marketing at its best. Even knowing that doing so is wrong, the red and pink hearts everywhere tend to cloud us. 

February 9, 2015


Growing up, the concept of finding love was merely a when situation, never an if, these days I'm not so sure.

January 30, 2015

universe get some rest

The universe conspires to remind me of him. 

Well, universe you don't have to try hard, he's always on my mind.

crash and burn

It crashed and burned,
and I guess it's better than a slow death,
this way you know it's defunct once and for all,
but I did not expect it,
key word: expect,
never expect good things,
just don't do it,
it won't lead to a happy ending,
thought I'd learned the lesson,
guess not,
someone is always at bay trying to make it clearer.

January 16, 2015

the dance

It became clear, I didn't want to dance with anyone else but him.

January 14, 2015

the constant

It doesn't go away like that, I can't blink and wish it all away, not that I would even if I could. All I know is I can't let myself stay in this constant wonderment of where we stand. 

January 5, 2015

only human

Idealizations are tragic, perhaps after making up a person in your mind, finding out they're only human becomes a detriment. I suppose it happens more often than not, though not to me. I wasn't ready for that kind of truth, but as all truths, they don't wait until you are.


A: I'm completely tired.
B: Tired of what?
A: Of this absolute nothing we have.

January 3, 2015

January 1st

Always take a drive on January 1st,
the streets are clear,
everyone's home recovering or just too cold,
enjoy the solitude,
take the long way,
for there won't be another day as clear as this.