tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59750002014331752222024-03-13T20:07:55.848-06:00Blog your heart outBlog your heart out. Posting poems, quotes, stories and general ramblings. A say as you feel blog. This is where I unwind.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger631125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-71195627678290262912023-04-11T09:21:00.005-06:002023-04-11T09:21:48.843-06:00the decision<span style="font-family: georgia;">And when you make the decision, think wisely, you don't just choose the person, you choose who you are when you're with that person. </span><div><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-63561857264053784442022-11-30T12:47:00.002-06:002022-11-30T12:47:16.412-06:00survival mode<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">What I feared the most was being encountered with those unresolved feelings. It was no one's job but mine and I had been so good at dodging the bullets, but staring down the barrel there's nowhere to run. I have to face the sentiment, the beating heart, the spiraling, the anger, the sadness of it all. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">I made the right choices back then, still, I'm not who I wanted to be, who I thought I'd become once I escaped and it made me wonder. </span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-83321749798981866992022-11-16T16:52:00.001-06:002022-11-16T16:52:16.555-06:00the problem with birthdays<p> It didn't seem like a problem until a couple of days ago, then something snapped, I realized how old I was going to be and although I've never shied away from a number on a cake, became acutely aware of what I envisioned for myself at 34 and acutely aware of the miles of distance between who I am and who I always thought I'd be by now. </p><p>It's not anyone's fault, just false expectations and a sense of being able to plan life as we want. A total lie. I'm alright in general, a work in progress, making teeny tiny steps into what I want. Actually, scratch that. Making teeny tiny steps into understanding who I've always been. </p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-11547754418193597782021-12-09T16:53:00.000-06:002021-12-09T16:53:23.236-06:00vulnerability<span style="font-family: georgia;">Funny thing is, I wanted to share my stories and I wanted people to read them, maybe relate to something, make us connect but I didn't want the people around me to do so. </span><div><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia;">Why don't I care about baring my soul to perfect stangers? And why am I terrified of being vulnerable with those closest to me? Those are the questions I'm trying to answer. </span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-53924228891885093272021-07-23T15:55:00.000-05:002021-07-23T15:55:10.206-05:00i do<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A bigger love than I thought I was capable of. You surprise yourself, with what you are willing to do for that someone. How little what everyone else thinks matters. How all the right people see exactly why it's right. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And even the most perfect person for the position won't make it easy, because it's not supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be real, to be a balance, to be an everyday choice. And I do, I do choose you, through rain and sushine. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-88412773554733620752021-07-14T15:36:00.002-05:002021-07-14T15:36:34.995-05:00the million drafts<p><span style="font-family: georgia;"> I abandoned this place, I just stopped looking back at everything I ever felt and decided to write down, as if that would leave me with a clean slate. It didn't. Everything I ever experienced made me who I am today, and I never leave myself. So, I'm back at it and I have a million drafts from the years before and a million words tangled in my head.</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-60698461658631782772018-05-20T14:30:00.000-05:002018-05-20T14:30:02.451-05:00the colorful calmness<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was the simplest thing, air balloons in a wide open space. Hundreds of colors in the sky and I just sat there on that empty soda box and looked up. Blue, red, yellow, green, white, purple, pink and all the combinations possible. You hear as they fuel it up, the flame makes such a distinct sound, the calmness begins. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-56143538217033609372018-05-17T16:00:00.000-05:002018-05-17T16:00:02.733-05:002018<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Almost half of the year gone by and I didn't dare post my wishes for 2018, I thought about them carefully and I just couldn't commit to carry such a heavy list with me knowing I'd get caught up in something and forget it all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I realize that thinking that </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">just a change in the calendar year will change our lives is silly, but it's also hopeful. So here I am, with almost half of the year gone by re-thinking what 2018 means to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-5178126659849462512018-05-15T22:26:00.000-05:002018-05-15T22:26:23.371-05:00another sleepless night<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Middle of the night,</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">a sleepless one,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">went outside,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">sat on the ground,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">it was so dark,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">could barely make up a few stars.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Then that cloud went away,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">the moon was shining,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">like the chesire cat smile,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">it grounded me,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I felt the roots grow from under me,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">and I was starting be alright.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was going to be alright. </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-81861737750472834012017-10-29T22:59:00.000-06:002017-10-29T22:59:27.361-06:00one more year<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Close to completing another round around the sun, it felt like a mere instant, not 365 days for sure. I double checked the calendar, I brushed away the "your birthday is coming up soon" comments, I didn't buy myself that present my mom asked me to buy. And still the date is right around the corner. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-22594639497314893422017-08-23T20:11:00.001-05:002017-08-23T20:11:10.730-05:00the times we miss<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and tell myself that I could do it, that I had what was needed and that I could conquer it all. You never think you'll have to take such measures, but damn, anxiety and self-doubt will increase by a ton those last months. It doesn't help being alone, but alone is all you want to be. Conflicting times, yet they will be truly missed.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-86742807737408059812017-04-05T00:39:00.001-05:002017-04-05T00:39:16.672-05:00the good wishes<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He said this would be my year and that I should enjoy it. Such simple words yet they filled my heart with joy and comfort. Isn't it lovely when someone, anyone, predicts good things for you? Even if they can't control it, the simple thought makes it all better. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-10872598136356229702017-02-23T13:07:00.003-06:002017-02-23T13:07:52.219-06:00where do I go when I go<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Drove all the way back home in silence, didn't even care to turn the radio on. It was such a trance I didn't notice until I was two minutes away. Didn't think of anything at all, I just wasn't there. Still trying to figure out where I go when I go. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-54133665451948463982017-01-17T15:40:00.001-06:002017-01-17T15:40:11.568-06:00the go getter<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I never thought I could, but I did and it made me feel powerful and strong. Like if I could do this, I could do anything at all. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-87155018992558805932016-10-30T22:11:00.000-06:002016-10-30T22:11:23.493-06:00the end of october<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">October was ending,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">it went by so fast,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">it went by so slow,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">it went by without me being really there at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-55283855737214561362016-10-25T21:50:00.000-05:002016-10-25T21:50:06.220-05:00it wasn't home<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I did get to miss those mountains again,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">this time I felt a hole in my chest,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and the new place was wonderful,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">beautiful buildings, green everywhere,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but it wasn't home</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">.</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-14437126596803317482016-10-25T21:48:00.000-05:002016-10-25T21:48:49.349-05:00it all fades away<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It would've been nice to have been told that fear is greater in the anticipatory moments and once you're doing whatever you feared, it all fades away. Sometimes you even go through it and forget what it was that terrified you so much.</span><br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-77940913458730024462016-09-14T09:53:00.004-05:002016-09-14T09:53:51.863-05:00if I could be softer<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My words always sounded harsher than I meant them out to be. I hurt people unwillingly and I don't realize it until the words have left me. I could see the look in their eyes. If I could be softer I would be, believe me. I'm sorry.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-229022272648880452016-07-21T15:32:00.000-05:002016-07-21T15:32:02.078-05:00dream new dreams<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And then just like that dreams become memories and we're sent off again to dream new dreams.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-30376339665089807462016-07-19T15:44:00.001-05:002016-07-19T15:44:29.445-05:00it came true<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Truth is I always wanted it to be you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">I hoped for it, but didn't think it would come true. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-33520821009195601412016-07-19T15:41:00.001-05:002016-07-20T04:42:15.851-05:00the flaws that tie it all up<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Those costumes you wore to get you through vanished, they are of no good use here. Finally, just you. You'd forgotten what you used to be like, so you made yourself new. With good and bad, perfect flaws to tie it all up. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-17574781389057546662016-07-19T15:39:00.002-05:002016-07-19T15:39:50.019-05:00walk away<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Leave the light on,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">and walk away</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I won't hold it against you,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some things just have to be done.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-71964452079806703092016-07-19T15:38:00.001-05:002016-07-19T15:38:14.873-05:00the 2 week span<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Suddenly it hits you, for miles and miles you're alone. No one to hold your hand when you sad or lost. </span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-53741340164678919402016-06-26T19:39:00.000-05:002016-06-26T19:39:33.860-05:00wants and needs<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was nice, you know? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It wasn't what I wanted,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">but it was what I needed.</span></div>
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975000201433175222.post-32615620554297170662016-06-15T17:28:00.000-05:002016-06-15T17:28:52.870-05:00those damn miles<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You'd think I'd miss you just the same,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">that the augmentation of miles wouldn't add up to the missing,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">but they did,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss you more than I miss you regularly.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0